Cherita Chen
by laurascara
Summary: No one ever thought twice about Chinese Middlesex student, Cherita Chen. But Donnie Darko had a profound influence on her life.


Summary: No one ever thought twice about Chinese Middlesex student, Cherita Chen. But Donnie Darko had a profound influence on her life.

Disclaimer: I do not own Donnie Darko or the character, Cherita Chen.

All I ever wanted was to belong. My mother wanted me to have all the happiness in the world. In her mind, America was the only place where I could receive this. She named me Cherita, thinking it was an "American" name. However, when I first came to this country, my peers viewed it as decidedly "ghetto".

Our family emigrated to this country from China when I was 11. I used to blame American culture for my alienation, but I knew even then that I had never fit in. Even in China, I was ostracized for my chubbiness and awkward, eager-to-please personality. The truth is, I was always miserable at school- I never quite fit in.

When I entered ninth grade, there was a new boy in my class name Donnie Darko. He was not a transfer student; he had been held back. Rumor was that he had had trouble with the law. I didn't pay him much notice at first. None of the boys in school were nice to me. I had no reason to believe he was any different.

Soon, however, I realized that he never seemed to single me out. It was common practice for the other boys to bully me at the bus stop. I was an easy target; my limited English skill made it difficult to defend myself, and there was plenty for them to pick on. Fat jokes and Asian jokes had become a daily occurence for me. But Donnie never joined in. In fact, he often muttered, "Just leave her alone."

Eventually, I became infatuated. How could I not? He was the only boy who showed any sort of humanity toward me. The truth was, I never really knew him. But I began to secretly follow him. To record my love in a private diary titled "Donnie Darko". I knew he would not return these feelings for me. I saw the way he and Gretchen Ross held hands. But I did not care. It was enough that he was kind to me in a world where no one else was.

But one day, he caught me staring at him. I was petrified, and I waited for him to attack. He slowly approached me, and placed his hands over my headphones. I stared at him, completely frozen.

"I promise, someday everything's gonna be better for you," he said firmly.

I backed away.

"Shut up!" was the only thing I could think to say, before I fled down the hallway, leaving my prized headphones.

I was so angry. I knew he was lying to me. He was being deliberately cruel because he knew that there was no way life could ever get better for me. Who did he think he was to promise such an impossibly thing?

One night, I had this incredibly dream. It lasted forever. In it, a month passed by. I faced the teasing of my classmates. Even worse, I performed an interpretive dance at the school talent show where I was booed.

When I woke up, I knew Donnie was dead. I remembered the jet-engine that had struck his room, and how he had narrowly escaped. I knew then that he had gone back in time to allow destiny to occur. He had done it for everyone: for his family, for his friends, for Gretchen and for me. He did not want his life to end, but he knew it was the only way. And he accepted that.

I smiled. Even though I loved Donnie, and he was now dead, I smiled because I knew that he had done it out of love. And I knew everything would be okay.

After that morning, things changed for me. I stopped caring when the bullies tormented me. I knew that Donnie loved me enough to die, and that made everything hurt less. Eventually, I stopped getting teased. It became boring to the other kids when they realized they could no longer upset me.

Ms. Pomeroy did not get fired. Without Donnie flooding the school, there was no reason for Mrs. Farmer to attack her reading list. Ms. Pomeroy was an amazing influence. Going to her class made me less lonely, less isolated. Because I knew she understood me, even if no one else did at the moment.

I'm 17 now. I may not be popular, but I do have friends. I still talk to Samantha Darko sometimes. I'm not very close to her because I feel guilty that I have this closure about her brother's death that she does not. I could never tell her what I know; she would never believe me anyway.

I'm still fat. I'm still awkward. But I no longer care. I know that someday I will meet people who love me for what matters, and that everything will be better like Donnie said. I doubt I'll find those things while I'm still in high school, but I know it will happen in the near future.

I know this because I once knew a boy who cared so deeply that he was willing to sacrifice his life for others. He barely knew me, yet he saved me. Donnie Darko has changed my life more than words can ever express. So I'm obligated to live a long happy life to make his sacrifice meaningful.

Love always,

Cherita Chen


End file.
